As I was going through my divorce, the songs on the radio took on deeper meanings. Some made me bawl so hard I couldn’t see the road in front of me. Others made my sing at the top of my lungs and shake my fists in the air. (Yeah, I was that girl.) Here’s my divorce journey via the songs and lyrics that spoke to me. See if you can relate.
- “Say Something” by A Great Big World
When my husband first told me he didn’t love me anymore, it felt like I’d been catapulted out of my car through the front windshield and left in a ditch, covered in glass shards and blood. (Think horror flick.) I asked him if he wanted a divorce, and he said he didn’t know. For eight months he strung me along. Dozens of times I asked him for an answer, and dozens of times he evaded the topic. I remember listening to this song in my car, tears spilling down my cheeks.
“Say something, I’m giving up on you.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you.
Anywhere, I would have followed you.
Say something, I’m giving up on you.”
- “If Your Lips Are Moving” by Meghan Trainor
Then I learned the truth. He couldn’t give me an answer because he was trying to decide between me and someone else. After doing a little digging, I discovered he’d been having an affair for about a year. And everything that had been coming out of his mouth from who he was meeting for dinner to where he was spending the weekend were all lies. He lied to me, lied to our son, lied to his dad, lied to his siblings, lied to his pastor, lied to his best friend, lied to his boss, lied to his coworkers.
Pretty much, if “his lips were moving, he was lying, lying, lying.”
- “Blessings” by Laura Story
I drew closer to God during this time. My faith sustained me during the most difficult, darkest days. I clung to these words:
“What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?
What if the trials of this life
are your mercies in disguise?”
- “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift
It was over. My marriage, our 21-year life investment, my little family of three – all gone. When you go through something like this, the people closest to you can’t help but ask, “If he shows any remorse, will you try to work it out?” I would love to think that I could have been that woman. But the truth is, I wanted nothing to do with him after finding out. And besides, he was never ever ever remorseful.
So at the top of my lungs, Taylor and I sang over and over again,
“We are never ever ever getting back together,
We are never ever ever getting back together.
- “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson
Ask any of my divas how they feel now that it’s over, now that their husbands who were cheaters, porn addicts, and mentally unstable individuals are out of their lives, and they’ll tell you … FREE. We feel like this weight, heavier than an elephant sitting on your chest, has been lifted.
“Since u been gone, I can breathe for this first time…
I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah,
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want.”
- “The Sun is Rising” by Britt Nicole
Songs weren’t the only thing that spoke to me. Movies did, too. One in particular helped me move forward with my healing. It was “The Other Woman” starring Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann. Now I know what you’re thinking. How could a movie about adultery help me heal? Really, the movie is more about how a couple of women band together to support and help empower the wife.
Towards the end of the movie, this song “The Sun is Rising” comes on. It’s a bittersweet moment when the jilted wife accepts the reality of her marriage being over, and tosses her wedding ring into the ocean. It’s time for her to move on.
“You’re gonna make it
You’re gonna make it
And the night can only last for so long.
Whatever you’re facing
If your heart is breaking
There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on.
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising.”
- “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
Anybody else do fist pumps while belting this song in their car? I know I do. This song represents my road to recovery. I feel strong, happy, and empowered. I’ve reclaimed my life and embraced my new normal.
“This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”
Do you have a song that helped you heal? Let me know.